i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize