If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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