At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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