So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
