pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
