Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
