More tranny stories later!
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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