Kiss
Puke
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
