at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
