sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
