I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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