He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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