Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
