hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
