i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
