I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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