If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Can you repeat that, but with context?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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