"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
