somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
