The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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