My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We have started to decorate penises.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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