mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
