Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
It's blow job season.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
