i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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