so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
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