that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
