But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
