May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Be still, my beating vagina.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
