Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
