Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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