I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
