i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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