he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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