we're blogging at a bar
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize