I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize