so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
