He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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