he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
