Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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