My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You were trust falling into bushes
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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