There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
