we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
