Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
