my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
