Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
