some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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