I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
