i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
the liver wants what the liver wants
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Bring me that man meat
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
