Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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