Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
