I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
