no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Randomize