Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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