It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
