hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
