I'm sorry my penis didn't work
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
There's always time for handjobs
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
