Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
