Im at strip club and am horny
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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