We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize