I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
